Raising a teenager is difficult for the best of parents, just as being a teenager is difficult for all teens, regardless of how easy their childhood was. These are the years that parenting needs to be done delicately. Watching your teen distance him
or herself from you can be hurtful and confusing, however, understanding their need for distance is a necessary part of growing up.
Once children are born, they get progressively more distant from their parents, growing their independence so that they can become their own people. Teenagers
are the height of testing out their freedom. Teens need space to discover themselves as separate beings from their families. It’s valuable growing space that needs to
be respected.
Though it’s hard to leave your teenager alone, especially as their behavior becomes more and more concerning, it’s important to create boundaries—for both you and them. This can be as formal or informal as you feel necessary. Make sure your teen is aware that you will respect these boundaries. Allow your teen to have a voice in creating the boundaries they would like to see in place. This discussion will provide you with insight into what your teen is thinking, feeling and needing.
This is not the time to close up shop and not be involved with your teen. During this phase it can be tempting to just give up—but resist the temptation. Your teen, more than ever, needs to know that you love them and are there for them.
Everyone needs space, but this is especially true for teenagers. As they’re slowly separating themselves from their family identity, they need room to discover themselves. Boundaries are important for giving teenagers their privacy, but also important for safety and consistency. Let your teen know that they will
have a little more space to themselves, but the space is not a license to create chaos.
