Pillow Talk

5 Questions for a happier relationship


Create the most fulfilling relationship of your life by asking these 5 questions of yourself and your partner every week.

Keeping your relationship happy, exciting and fulfilled can feel like an overwhelming task. How do you ensure that you’re meeting your partner’s needs and they’re meeting yours? Grab a piece of paper, and a few minutes alone with your partner, and ask each other the following questions. Individually rank each question on a scale of 1-10. Then share your answers with each other.

  1. How connected did I feel we were this week? It’s okay if you don’t feel a super connected “10.” It’s also okay if your partner feels your connection was a 10, and you’re ranking it a 7. The point is to open up a discussion. If someone wasn’t a 10, ask why. What would have made it a 10 for you?

  2. How supportive was I of my partner this week? This is a question where you each rank yourselves. Be honest and try to give yourself an accurate reading.

  3. How supported did I feel this week? Now it’s your turn to rank your partner. Remember, when sharing these numbers with each other, the goal is to discuss and not to use the numbers as weapons. If you didn’t feel a 10 supported, share with your partner what would have made it a 10. And vice versa.

  4. How was our physical intimacy this week? Off the charts amazing? Or needs a little work? Here is your chance to share openly about this area, as well.

  5. What is my own current level of inner peace?  While it may not seem like this question has anything to do with your relationship, the opposite is actually true. Take a moment to rank your current level of inner peace and share with your partner any other factors that may be impacting your life and stress level.

Create the time and space to consistently ask these questions each week, and watch your relationship strengthen right before your eyes.

The 5 Questions were created by connection experts, international speakers, coaches and life partners Natalie Ehmka and Gordie Bufton. To receive a complimentary copy of The 5 Questions Worksheet, email natalie@natalieehmka.com.