Happiness is something we all strive to attain, and yet it can be a struggle to get there. Research shows that much of our happiness depends on small choices we make on a day-to-day basis. So consider the things happy people don’t do and perhaps making a few small changes in your life will increase your happiness factor.
1. Worry too much about what others think
Happy people are still human, and everyone cares a little about what others think. But the difference is that happy people don’t ruminate or obsess about others’ opinions of them. They value other people’s perspectives and are open to advice and guidance, but happy people ultimately stay true to their core beliefs and don’t waver from them—even if that means not fitting in with everyone else.
2. Waste time doing things they dislike
Happy people don’t spend time watching TV shows they don’t love; they don’t attend events that make them feel anxious; they don’t stay in careers that don’t fill them with joy. One of the greatest secrets of happy people is that they know what they don’t enjoy, and they don’t waste time on it out of a sense of fear, inertia or obligation.
3. Allow themselves to stay stuck in the past
While happy people do pay attention to—and strive to learn from—things that have happened in the past, they’re careful not to spend too much time ruminating on what was. Happy people know that the present is much more valuable than the past, and they focus most of their attention on the now.
4. Try to manipulate or change other people
Happy people know that change is an inside job, and the only way people change is if they want to. This knowledge is essential to happy living because it means not wasting time trying to manipulate others. Instead they focus on what they can do to take themselves out of a negative situation.
5. Obsess over what might happen in the future
Happy people know that there are a great many things they cannot control, and the future is one of them. Rather than worrying about what could go wrong, happy people strive to prepare as best they can and then direct their attention back to the present moment.
6. Strive to achieve absolute perfection
Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness, and happy people are well aware of this. Though they strive to do their best and aim high with their goals, they aren’t caught up in having “perfect” lives or being the “perfect” spouse, worker or parent.
7. Forget to be thankful for what they have
Happy people spend more time thinking about what they’re lucky to have and very little time wishing for things they don’t have. They look for and find the silver lining in a bad situation, and are able to remind themselves of just how fortunate they are.
8. Value possessions over experiences
The happiest people seem to have figured this out; they value activities such as spending time with friends and family, traveling to new places and stepping outside of their comfort zones.
9. Seek fulfillment in the wrong places
Happy people see fulfillment in meaningful things—connections with others, spirituality and meaning, and rewarding career paths. They know that status symbols are not as valuable in the long run as a sense of belonging and giving back to the community and the world at large.
10. Happy people don’t stay in negative situations for long
Perhaps most important of all, happy people don’t stay in negative situations or tolerate negative people in their lives. Happy people find a way to leave situations, careers and relationships that cause excessive amounts of stress.
Article adapted from a piece created by Dani DiPirro, find her at PositivelyPresent.com
